| Name | Phil Richards |
| Nickname(s) | Floater, Make Some Noise |
| Awards | |
| Height | 5′ 10” |
| Weight | Trim. No doubt disguised by a distinct lack of hair |
| Position | In the pit. Usually underwater |
| 2014 Appearances | 18 |
| 2014 Goals | 24 |
| 2014 Majors | 6 |
| Brutality Rating | 0.3 |
| Alcohol Liability | 6/10 – can get very messy but rarely needs babysitting |
| Biog | Having taken a short break to chase some Swedish totty, Phil has returned to us and made it his personal mission to smash as much woodwork as is humanly possible. Occasionally he scores… |
