The Curious Incident of the Poo in the break time

The 2nd of December so a jolly crew of 8 head up to Paddington for the traditional pre-game curry. It was a lively affair with too much chilli and not enough recovery time… Then we made our way to play Orca. Stats are below:

Dec 8th 2015 Stats

It was a classic Narwhals win – with swift countering off the top of the arc and some delightfully inaccurate passing. The final score was 13-4, with Mr. Shute grabbing 5 goals and Oggy getting 4.

Man of the Match went to John Holah for actually managing to turn up despite having been at a free bar earlier that evening. I think the addition of a sub really helped us out and we really appreciate the effort…. NAAAAAATTT. He also kicked off his defence of the Catas Trophy with a major…

Moment of the Match went to myself and Nick for a delightfully worked goal where a lofted cross pool pass was delicately flicked into the top corner by Nick’s waiting hand. Honourable mentions must go to the referee who blew for the end of the game milliseconds before I managed to score (boooo) and also to Tadija who began a new trend of the MMP (or mid-match poo). Its almost like he’d had a curry or something…

Fluffer this week went to Mr. Finch. Not only was his passing from goal “dubious” but he was beaten 4 times from about 8m by the same bloke always shooting from a foul. We weren’t sure what he was up to, but the vote was almost unanimous. Shout out to Nick who was (somewhat) harshly nominated twice here for a dreadful pass straight to the opposition…

A final addition to this years stats report is the beginning of the “Maddy Club”, where all those who disappeared get to have a photo, naming and shaming them. Gentlemen, for the first photo of the year, I give you Ed “can’t shoot, won’t shoot” Gamble and Phil “was he even playing” Richards…


Until next time… Forza Narwhali!!

Season Review – 2015 Stats

As we all know, this year has been a tough one – but it has been made better by the excitement of (near) weekly stats updates and the creation of our three new awards… Man of the Match, Moment of the Match and Fluffer. The final stats report of the year can be found here…
After a tough year and a great Christmas party, it now leaves me with the final task of listing the winners (and losers) for this year:

Man of the Year: Nick “GOOOOAAALLLSSS” Shute and Andy “Goal Hanger” Ogg (7)

Magic Moments: Phil “Pre-match poo” Richards & Nick Shute

Mother Fluffer: Arguably the most sought after prize this year. The top prize, for those of you not at the Christmas Party was a DVD. A DVD that some critics (and these are real Amazon reviews)…

Piste legend: “starts small but grows into something bigger”

Big Daddy: “Delivers more than it promises”

Anon: “soft to the core”

Peter: “A great representation of the soft core porn industry”

Is this about the DVD or the winner of this award? We will never know… but, the winner, with 6 Fluffs was: Phil “I love Wood” Richards


Best Social Moment: Stu Leaving

Biggest Summer Signing: Tadija “I’m not sure Orca are my sort of team” Popovic

Hardest Life outside of Polo: Dan “Irn Bru” Bedford

Where’s Wally: Gary “there he is” Bowen


Catas Trophy: John “Punchy” Holah – 31

Norbert Cup / Golden Hand: Nick “didn’t break 100” Shute (93)

Club Award: Ed Gamble – for having to deal with you lot every week!!


Only thing to say now is thanks for a great year, and let’s keep up the good work in the Thames league (2 wins so far)

IMG_2835 IMG_2836 IMG_2838 IMG_2839 IMG_2833 IMG_2832