I didn’t punch you, I was just flailing my arms…

Afternoon all,

Wednesday 22nd June saw the Narwhals launch a heroic come back against Ealing Crabs (2nds) to earn a 16-16 draw. It was a tough, combative game that perhaps we could have won, but that takes nothing away from the great team effort that enable us to level the game late in the 4th quarter. This weeks stats are as follows:

June 24th Stats

We started slowly in the first quarter, finishing 5-2 down, but we quickly reversed that with some strong counter attacking in the second, pulling ourselves back to within a goal (8-7). We had a bit of a wobble in the third quarter, letting in 7 goals. Not quite sure what happened, but we conceded too many counters and we weren’t pressing hard enough on our men. We finished the 3rd quarter 15-11 down and we had a lot of work to do to level the game. The 4th quarter saw a tremendous effort and some delightful goals – and our perseverance began to show as Ealing became increasingly frustrated by our performance. 16-16 was a fair result, but I can’t help but feel that without that little wobble, we could have won the game!!

Man of the Match this week went to Dan “lone striker” Bedford who scored a double hatrick this week and was part of a few delightful goals, the highlight being a drilled shot from wide into the far top corner (and there’s me thinking he’s only good for flapping around in the pit…). He also combined nicely with Nick “windmill” Shute for a well taken goal and with Ed “Gimli” Gamble for a goal just before the buzzer. Where would we be without him? Shout outs to Finchy for saving a lot of one on ones in the first half and to Si Gateley for some great defensive work.

Moment of the match this week is awarded to a true team player. Someone who put himself on the line for a team mate – a team mate the rest of us were more than happy to see get hit… (joking). Late in the 4th Quarter, Nick “punchy” Shute was being held by his marker and therefore may (or may not) have “accidentally”  caught his opposite man in the face. The opposition did not like that, so lined Shute up for a punishing left hook. Tadija “Tony” Popovic channelled his inner Australia Centre Back and courageously stepped in the way – saving Mr. Shute a good seeing to. Now it seems we spend a lot of time stopping Nick getting beaten up (see Tour 2012, 2013 & 2014) but for this act of selfless team spirit, Tadija was awarded moment of the match – it almost made up for the time he got countered off…

For Fluffer we almost had a dead cert selection – but following Nicks “scuffle”, the resulting penalty was scored by Rob “bounce shot” Loveless which allowed him to avoid a maddy and a fluffer (for the 7 or 8 bounce shots he missed). However, with the goal, he was slightly redeemed, and our attention moves elsewhere. Fluffer this week could have gone to a number of different players, but this week it is awarded to John “Dribbler” Holah – not only because he had an opportunity to score, only for the ball to dribble to a stop 2m from goal – but also because he voted for himself. Tom Burridge levels of self-deprecation there…

Stats wise, Holah continues to stretch his lead in the Catas-Trophy stakes – leading us to believe he really does want to win it for a 3rd time and keep that trophy at home. Nick slowly approaches the 50 goal mark as Dan continues to try and push for a 4 goal a game average. We all await the return of Andy “El Pres” Ogg as he seems to have gone missing…

There was no maddy club this week, so instead I have included an accurate representation of Mr. Shute having his altercation…

Sorrysorry 2 – sorry… I’m so sorry…

Until next time gents…

Forza Narwhali!!

Weeble Wobble, Weeble Wobble, Jelly on a plate… (can I eat that?)

Wednesday saw the Narwhals face off against Croydon III’s for a friendly match – allowing us to practise all the moves we learnt in training (what?) and fine tune those rusty refereeing/table skills (really?). Both objectives went really, really well… The final score was 13-9 to the mighty Narwhals.

June 17th Stats

We were temporarily reduced in numbers when we had three match day maddy’s in the shape of Simon “static attack” Tidy, Luke “Ealing Crabs” Penfold and John “Punchy” Holah – but this meant that Tadija “Tony” Popovic saw the opportunity to step up, giving us a hardy 10 for the match. 1 to ref, 1 to table, 1 to sub. It is fair to say that this game was dominated by one man and one man only. One man who so far had managed 3 maddies and 3 majors in 4 games up until that point – but finally, and to a standing ovation, Si “cheeky lob” Gateley finally broke his scoring duck and grabbed his first two goals for the team!! I am sure you are all very proud of him.

The goals were quite well distributed with all but 2 of the 10 scoring. We also ensured that no one picked up any maddy’s during the game, so good effort there too!! It was a slow start but we soon took advantage and pushed into a promising lead. It seems we got tired in the 4th quarter, giving away 5 goals…

Man of the Match this week almost unanimously goes to Si Gateley for finally breaking his goal scoring duck. Two goals and a sterling defensive display was enough to take the award. Not only that, but his cheeky lob also won moment of the match – so close, yet so far from a historic triple crown!!

Fluffer this week was hotly contested, but the outright winner, with 6 votes to 4 was Nick “can’t do 1 on 1’s” Shute for butchering a 1 on 1 at the death. He will dispute this, but democracy never throws up a decision we don’t like… He narrowly beat me for my missed 1 on 1 opportunity and my little end of game wobble. Funnily enough, the last time I saw the orange ball before it disappeared, it was sailing wide of the goal… who knows where it went next!!

So without a maddy club this week, all that’s left to say is… Forza Narwhali!!

Until next week!!

Not the hero you need, the hero you deserve!!

Afternoon all,

Wednesday saw WT Narwhals meet Avondale II’s in a re-match of the game played a few weeks ago. Through some fantastic individual performances the mighty Narwhals got revenge, emerging victors 8-5. Here are the stats:

June 10th Stats

The omens were good for the game as the Narwhals fielded a full 13 – plenty of subs at our disposal. Not only that, by Luke “Pendog” Penfold was making his first (and probably last) appearance of the season – added to the fact that my mum made an appearance and helped Sarah on the table. As you will soon see, the theory that bringing a fan to the game improves your performance definitely works!!

The match started off superbly with Ed “winning the swim-off” Gamble winning the swim-off. It is fair to say that we dominated the first half, but our shooting was wasteful, and some of our passing way off target. Two goals from messers Floater and Gimli left the score at 2-1 at the end of the first quarter.

The second quarter went equally well, with Phil “back in form” Richards collecting a further two goals and Matt “wayward” Finch not conceding. We did well to nullify any attacking threat from the opposition but we were again wasteful in attack – seemingly scared to shoot, even when their keeper had been excluded… Q3 finished well again, with Shute, Holah and Richards all contributing, leaving the score at 7-2 going into the final quarter. All we had to do was use up the full 30 each time and it was impossible for us to lose… he says…

We then had a mini breakdown and let Avondale back into the game. In quick succession they had scored three goals, leaving the score at 7-5 with panic beginning to set in a little. What the Narwhals needed was a hero. What they needed was a man to step up and calm the nerves with a superbly taken counter and lob… Cometh the hour, cometh the man – and Ed “hero” Gamble stepped up to steady the ship. The score at 8-5, the Narhwals held firm and claimed victory!!

For his 4 goals and return to the green zone (leap frogging Oggy and Rob), Man of the Match this week went to Phil “Floater” Richards. An impressive goal haul and no sign of his love affair with the wood work!! Moment of the match was awarded to Ed “2 goal” Gamble for his superb second goal. It must be mentioned that a close second was the return of Pendog, who also narrowly beat John Holah’s goal.

Now fluffer… this was a hotly debated topic with several nominations. First up was Simon “Over the Bar” Gateley for two shots that sailed well over the cross bar, next came Matt “distribution” Finch was his interesting passing and finally we have John “Punchy” Holah for collecting another 3 major haul and putting a strong claim on that Catas Trophy. Even so, these men were all beaten this week by a man who thought he could escape the Portuguese Police, a man who committed a despicable, violent crime in order to avoid a mugshot, a man who’s recent form in front of goal seemingly deserted him… that’s right, fluffer this week is awarded to Rob “shit shot” Loveless – not only for his blatant last minute foul to avoid a maddy, but also for his wayward shooting…

Here’s the maddy club:

Avondale II Maddy Club


Also – I don’t know if you heard, but WT Narwhals won a trophy!! Officially Division 2 Thames League Champions 2015-2016. Who’s organising the open top bus tour through Croydon?

Trophy win