Into the Stat osphere

Afternoon Gents,

Please find attached the next installment of the Narwhals 2015 stats report.

March 26th Stats

Yesterday saw us record a superb 11-8 win over Avondale 2’s (with a 2 goal head start) which puts us in the final of whichever competition it was that we were playing in. The stage is set for the dramatic return of Luke ‘Only Tour and Cup Finals’ Penfold…


I think we played brilliantly well yesterday. When Avondale dropped off us we moved the ball around the arc and took sensible shots. If they pressed us, we put the ball in the pit and either Andy or Simon did the rest. Defensively we were solid, and once Simon learnt our man down routine we did really well there with some big blocks. Only when we got tired in the 4th quarter did our performance drop, but overall, I think this was by far our best performance of the year.


Special mentions have to go out to Bummage who left the south coast to put in a sterling effort in goal and to Oggy who scored some beautiful goals. Oggy was the winner of Man of the match as well as moment of the match – a shot from the pit cannoning back of the bar only to land back in his hand and be put past the stranded keeper. Fluffer was awarded to Phil ‘I love wood(work)’ Richards for consistently skying shots or hitting the bar/post. It has been suggested in two separate emails that Phil should continue to get Fluffer until he realises that the ball needs to go in the net… I’ll leave that for you to decide. Finally, we were all very disappointed with Mohammed Bin Harwood’s performance. It was almost like he wasn’t there…


Stats wise, Nick “Harry Kane” Shute continues to lead the goal charts, with myself and Phil heading out in front for Major King. Gary “Brutal” Bowen is continuing to maintain his brutality rating – in desperate need of a goal. Reflecting the current Premier league standings, competition is hot (based on goals scored) for the 4th champions league spot… Still a long way to go!!


Until next time, Forza Narwhali!!!



Stats update #4


Stats update #4 of the year reporting a decidedly unconvincing 12-8… no 11-9… no 10-7… ummm… victory over London Orca. Apologies for any inaccuracies here, due to numerical dyslexia, the match sheet is very difficult to comprehend. Basically we won – just.

Yesterday’s game saw the return of the Lash Monster – we’ll see you in six months mate. Somewhat regrettably however, despite the fact he hadn’t been in the pool for quite a long time, he was notably a lot less worse than the rest of us… A close result, but Lash is Man of the Match for the game… we might as well all give up.

Generally I think our lack of fitness was the biggest obstacle to our game yesterday. We were let off the hook by some good saves from Lash and Nick’s arrival in the 2nd Quarter when he contributed 5 goals. Phil again struck up a strong relationship with the wood work, banging it all night long. He did however produce the moment of the match – a “superb” bouncing shot from half-way to add to our tally 5 seconds before half-time. This is Phil’s 3rd moment of the match… what a super star… NAAAAAAATTTT

Fluffer this week was a hotly contested 3 way. Eventually the award is given to Matt “We are playing in blue right?” Finch for some extremely good passes to the opposition. The finest being a fantastic pass to an unmarked Orca player who was about 5 meters out. Best pass of the night I think!!

Things to take away:

– Nick has now scored a third of our goals… nailed on for his 3rd golden hand?

– Gary continues to be “BRUTAL”. Some goals are needed there Mr. Bowen

– Sarah records her first Maddy of the year

– Finchy is getting very good at fluffing – form an orderly queue!!

Seriously though, lets try and make an effort to get to training and build up some fitness. We know we will struggle for subs for the near future, which means we have to be fitter. It was really disappointing to see Orca out swimming and looking generally (aerobically) fitter than us. Big effort lads.

Forza Narwhali!!