Free scoring Narwhals…

In the spirit of the World Cup, this week’s stats report follows a football theme. The entire update delivered in the medium of football chants. It will be almost like you are on the terraces… almost.

15th June Stats

(To the tune of “She’ll be coming round the mountain”) (Whey…)
We scored twenty-eight and they scored three,
We scored twenty-eight and they scored three,
We got twenty-eight goals,
We got twenty-eight goals,
We got twenty-eight and they got three.

(To the tune of “Blue is the Colour”) – a lovely 7 goal haul
Orange is the colour, scoring is his game. He just scored another, Bedford is name. (etc. etc.)

(To the tune of “Love will tear us apart”) – for his 6 goals – mostly counters.
Shuuute, Shute will tear you apart, again. (repeat)

(To the tune of “My old man’s a dustman”)
Matt Finch is a keeper, he wears a keepers hat,
But when he plays outfield, he says I’m having that,
He tries a dodgy bounce shot, sometimes it goes in,
Occasionally he’ll pass it, so well done to him…

Man of the Match: Charles K-T
(to the tune of “This old Man”)
Charles KT, he scored two,
M-O-M, congrats to you,
with a nick nack, paddy whack, winning was a doddle,
please try harder not to wobble

Almost a triple crown this week for Mr KT. A superb performance on the left wing – could have had more goals if he learnt how to push shot and catch. Who needs Rob Loveless?

Moment of the Match: Stefan Lombardo scoring on his debut…
(to the tune of “He’s one of our own”)
It came off the bar, It came off the baaaarrrr, He scored on the rebound, It came off the bar!!

Congrats to Stef for scoring his first goal for the club on his debut. Nice “assist” from Finch Snr – shame we aren’t counting those…

Fluffer: Charles K-T
(To the tune of “Blame it on the boogie”)
Don’t blame it on the bad pass, don’t blame on the stop clock, don’t blame it on Ed Gamble, blame it on your catching… He just can’t, he just can’t, he just can’t control the ball…

A well deserved and unanimous vote for Charles this week for his first fluffer of the year. Dangerously close to becoming the clubs second wobble master.

And to close, channelling the vibes of South Africa 2010: (to the tune of a vuvuzela…)

Baddoooooooooooppp!! Badddoooooooooooppppp!!

Until next time (to the tune of “Seven Nation Army”)
We’re the Narwhal Army!! We’re the Narwhal Army!!