A Blue Planet Special

A Blue Planet special spoken in your best Attenborough voice.

21st September Stats

As the unusually warm summer draws to a close over the vast southern plains of London, preparations begin for the cooler months to come and the arduous task of the winter hibernation. The hot summer has taken its toll on the local wildlife with excessive energy wasted on frequent visits to watering holes, an extended mating season for some of the Bullfinches and prolonged summer migration for the lesser spotted ‘Bowen Great Bowerbird’.

A neighbouring migratory flock from the woodlands of Cheam pass through the southern plains in waves and according to physical superiority, the elite of the flock are the first to pass followed by the supposedly weaker of the flock in a second wave. It is this second wave of invasive species that the native animals fight for resources.

As the natives become aware of the onset of an apparent invasion of their territory, the affects of the long hot summer become apparent as they are slow to form a defence falling to a 0-5 first quarter loss.

High up in the jungle canopy the squawking siege is overseen by another migrater new to these plains, the Whistling Green Pigeon, who appears to be easily flustered by the apparent onset of danger. The slightest of movements from the Red Headed Woodpecker seem to perturb the green pigeon who repeatedly sends ear splitting whistles his way.

Awakened by the squawking and whistling furore, a response is mounted with two goals from the red headed woodpecker and the ever energetic Vine-Handed Gibbon. However a meagre attempt at best as the onslaught continues; 3-11 to the Cheam migraters at the halfway mark.

With local pride bruised and defence lines seemingly wasting away with the leaves on the jungle floor, pockets of resistance are mounted from the swift and agile ‘Bald Ukari’. Known for their peculiar excretion habits in the face of battle, the Bald Ukari dispatches a remarkably disguised pit flick to unsettle the visitors. Another strike from Ukari and the Red Headed Woodpecker, a mere formality to proceedings. 6-16 and defeat looked certain.

The exuberance of a juvenile Gouldian Finch, uses its majestically colourful plumage to both attract a mate and to confuse its prey with sudden movements. This is put to good effect as the juvenile finch launches a dart past a bamboozled defence. Perhaps also a demonstration of courtship and coming of age to impress an onlooking female finch.

The increasingly flustered Whistling Green Pigeon could not resist further squawking at the typically aggressive Holah and Weeble Tailed Macaques with two expulsions a piece. A feeble attempt all round finishes 8-24. The pin point accuracy from the migraters proved too much for the White Headed Winterbotham Capuchin. As the Autumn leaves fall in the South London plains, the natives lick their wounds and plan their own migration to the Northern Atlantic archipelago of the Portuguese Azores.

MoM – Dan for this 50% goal contribution
Moment – Floater for a neatly dispatched pit flick
Fluffer – Almost uncontested and unanimously awarded to Gamble for his row Z attempt. Pretty much everyone off to Portugal for crap passing, attack and defence.