Battle of Arctic – Narwhals vs. Orca’s

Following the Skirmish of Stratford where a brave 6 Narwhals battled superior numbers to become victors in December, a pod of Orcas migrated north to take on the Narwhals in their Arctic home to seek vengeance…

10th Feb stats

The match began with some concern for the Narwhals. Having prepared ourselves for the coming battle, we were missing a member of our team. Nick “late for the start” Shute was nowhere to be seen. We could only assume he had developed a funny eye again and had taken a wrong turn in the dark… Still, even though we were short of one, we still managed to push ourselves in a 3-0 lead at the end of the quarter. Dan “last gasp” Bedford even managed to sneak a goal in just on the buzzer!!

The second quarter saw wholesale changes as the Narwhals swapped in 4 subs (an unheard of number!!). This had little to no impact on the performance as we continued to race into a 7-0 lead by halftime. Highlight of the quarter was a cheeky one-two goal between Ed “great lines” Gamble and Nick “thanks for showing up” Shute. The Narhwals were feeling confident having won both swim-offs and finding success with our half-bath press. Of equal joy was the continued success of the “Don’t let Ed score” game… at some point something had to go wrong…

The Third Quarter saw everyone’s favourite ring destroyer win another swim-off which ultimately resulted in Andy “four goal” Ogg grabbing a well taken goal. John “Punchy” Holah then managed to secure his major contribution for the day by clobbering an Orca. He was clearly capitalising on the fact that Gary “up the Shard” Bowen wasn’t playing – looking to put an early claim on what would be a 4th Catas Trophy… Then Rob managed to ruin it for everyone…

In a flowing attacking move that saw the Narwhals race down the pool in a flying wedge formation, Phil “Portuguese Police” Richards was left with the ball cleanly on the left hand side. His options flashed through his mind… a.) shoot b.) pass to Rob c.) pass to Ed. Realising that if he shot the Narwhals would not get a goal, he considered his next two options. “Clearly passing to Rob is the best option here”, he thought, “no one wants to pass to Ed”. So pass to Rob he did. Rob caught the ball with ease, surging out of the water to catch the ball and shoot in one clean motion. Little did we know however that Rob was having an internal monologue too; “Hang on, Phil hasn’t hit the post!! Someone has to hit the post!! I know… I can hit the post!!” – so hit the post he did. Sadly for him, Gimili was floating near by. Like a fat boy on some sweets he quickly scooped up the ball and pinged it into the top corner. 10-0 to the Narwhals, 1-0 to Gamble, Fluffer to Loveless…

Sadly Orca then managed to pick up a goal, the result of a man-down situation caused by Zac’s customary foul in the opposition half. That being said, we finished the quarter 12-1 and went on to win the game 15-3, two further goals conceded by Finch Senior – one a lob from 10m and the other a shot at his near post. Dear oh dear… Nonetheless, the Narwhals again emerged victorious, making it 4-0 for the season. The games will invariably get harder, but it is a good way to build confidence!!

Man of the match this week went Dan “5 goal” Bedford for his goal contribution and penalty winning flair. He also was awarded Moment(s) of the Match for picking up 2 buzzer beater goals. Delightful. It has already been mentioned that Loveless won fluffer (already set a good score ahead of the Christmas Party) but he did narrowly beat Finch Snr for getting lobbed, Finch Jnr for his maddy evading major and Bedford for struggling against their rush keeper (so nearly the triple crown!!!). All that is left for me to say is that Phil has gone missing in Portugal. Worryingly he has taken Charles with him, so we all fear for the young boys safety…

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Until next time – Forza Narwhali!!