Statistically Improbable

Hello Gents,

April 24th Stats

Stats report after a busy week of polo – 2 whole matches to tell you about!!

First off we have a 10-8 friendly victory over Amphibs 3. Despite only having 6 players, we recruited a a goalkeeper and managed to play a full 4 quarters each… FITNESS!! Rob “sorry I’m still in the office” Chapman marked his return to the team with a goal and everyone managing to avoid a maddie. Moment of the match goes to Tim “5 lives” Young who managed to convert his superb 5 lives form in training to actually scoring an actual penalty in a match – more of the same please!! Man of the Match was a close contest between the men who played in opposite pits – Mr Holah’s great defending narrowly beaten by Phil “finally found the net” Richards efforts in attack (3 goals). Despite this, Phil also wins Fluffer for failing to pass to a free Nick Shute (on 2m) in favour of blasting the ball a few meters over the bar… Good one mate!!

Sadly our second game of the week went less successfully. An away trip to a murky Morden pool resulted in a 14-7 defeat. Again we were done over by counter attacks and an alarming tendency to give the ball away. Dan “Irn-Bru” Bedford made a special effort to make the game – flying in from Glasgow. His travels were rewarded with a goal, the Man of the Match award and the special prize of hitting the Sutton keeper in the face about 7 times. The game was also a bumper result for myself (Ed “are you sure you know how to play” Gamble), almost getting a full house – 1 goal, 1 major, fluffer and moment. For the fluffer, 5m out and unmarked, I fumbled the ball, couldn’t pick it up, panicked, started to sink and then “unleashed” a timid shot that barely reached the keeper… then they scored off a counter. Does that count as an assist? However, I made up for it moments later by scoring an impressive lob which managed to win moment of the match. That being said, there were 2 votes for a full team fluffer and 1 vote apiece for nobody to win Man of the Match or Moment… I think that probably says it all.

As for the stats themselves, Nick “magic hands” Shute is still in the blazing a trail up front with double the goals of his nearest competitor. I lead the Major king stats, whilst steadily climbing the goal scoring ranks. Gary “Thug Life” Bowen still holds the best brutality rating whilst Sheikh Abu bin Harwood continues to excel in the Maddie steaks after his ill advised return to the UK. In other news it looks like we need to put a bit more effort into scoring goals… The top 3 have scored 64% of our goals whilst Nick on his own has scored 1 goal less (32) than everyone else outside the champions league places (33).

Until next time… Forza Narwhali!!