Matt Finch playing outfield… what could go wrong?

Wednesday 13th September saw the Narwhals take to the pool for the first proper game in about 2 months. As you can probably guess, we had all been training really hard over the summer, with a pre-season victory over a group of 17yr olds filling us with false optimism that we were “alright”. If the realisation that we were incredibly unfit and out of practise hadn’t caused some doubts, the promise that Matt “one minute special” Finch would be returning to an out-field position sucked away any of our remaining confidence.

September 18th Stats

We took to the pool against a 12-strong Chelmsford side. Elder team members continued to reminisce about a game about 20 years ago where there was a bit of a fight, but they were asked to actually focus on the game at hand… The first quarter started well, with the game at 1-1 after 6mins (and Ed Gamble scoring an awesome goal…). Sadly within the final minute we shipped 3 goals and finished the first 4-1 down. The second quarter was a physical affair but finished 3-3 – no majors to be seen and Oggy grabbing a brace. After 14 minutes of polo, Matt “inhaler” Finch was yet to make his mark on the game. Little did we know he was saving himself for the 2nd half…

Rob “right post” Loveless grabbed himself 2 goals in the 3rd quarter – the pick of those being a delightful left-handed back shot from 7m. Sadly, our fitness (or lack of it) was starting to show and Chelmsford began to break off us; 11-6 at the end of the quarter. At the start of the 4th we held our own for a full 2.30 minutes. A brief burst of energy let us keep up with the Chelmsford swimmers and keep the score as it was. We even managed an attack or two. It was during one of these attacks that suddenly the whistle went – holding the ball I expectantly looked at the pit hoping for a man up… how wrong I was.

To my dismay, the referee was pointing towards the top of our arc and a floundering (flouncing) Matt Finch. With three shrill blasts, he was excluded and wrapped. No more polo for Matthew. It turns out Matt had been “punched” by an 18yr old. He was then caught punching him back. Not only did he lose that fight, he also picks up fluffer… (unanimously).

The final score was 15-7. For our lack of match practise it wasn’t a terrible result, but it could have been better. Man of the match went to Rob “left hand” Loveless for his 3 goals whilst moment was shared between Rob and Ed “2m slap shot” Gamble. Race is on for Most Magic Moments!!

Special shout out to Andy Winterbotham who has returned to the club after a 5yr hiatus. It is a shame his return has meant Finchy has to come out field, but he did make some good saves – so welcome back.

Tadija, Gary and Zac are still missing in Portugal. Their next of kin have asked us to call off the search.

Until next time – Forza Narwhali!!

Floater – the Goal Machine Poo

A tale of 2 contrasting games this week. One so well organised it completely threw the team, the other so last minute it was organised 48 hours in advance in the pub after the first. One journey to the far north, one in our favourite local. One agonising defeat, and one steadying win. However both with distinct lack of players as has become too comment in recent times.

4th August Stats

Game 1 – a lovely 40 minute tube to High Barnet. Plus a 20 minute (30 if you include going the wrong way) walk from there. Or the age old question, clockwise or anti-clockwise on the M25? It makes little difference this far out.

There was a highlight for a lucky few though. Games where we leave straight from work mean we can have a Cheeky Nandos and a McFlurry. The food of Gods (champions). The Galaxy Caramel McFurry  was definitely the evenings high point, especially for one well known toilet connoisseur.

The man of experience did his business pre-match as usual – the whiff of medium-spice peri-peri wafting through to poolside. That’s more than can be said for Shute – whose Nandos promptly decided it had had enough time in the intestine just as the ref blew the whistle to line up. Needless to say missing the start of the game because of poor pre-match preparation wins him fluffer in game one before he even touched the ball.

We were under pressure straight away, but battled very hard and traded blows for the first half. We went in 9-7 down, their 9th being a shot from half way a good second after the clock had gone to zero. Spending most of the 2 minutes of half time complaining to the ref, he proceeded to let them kick the shit out of us for the second half, our tiredness kicked in and we went down 15-9 (or something like that, no one got the match sheet).

Highlight of the day was Floater, who pre-loaded his bicep cannon with ice cream, caramel and chocolate and banged in 5 to pick up man of the match. Moment went to Zach, who was left to shoot from the wing and gobbled it up with a lovely lob into the far corner. No travelling this week due to lack of known goals and majors.

Game 2 – Still recovering from getting home in the early hours on Monday the team were bolstered by Mr Punch confirming his attendance, but a last minute emergency for Finch meant Robo-Hip had to take one for the team and put the red hat on. Oggy was absent due to the 48 hours notice, Phil hadn’t loaded his cannon (which was a worry), but Shute’s dads risotto was not giving him the same jip as the nandos so he was able to start the game. With Holly heavily pregnant and still showing more commitment than most of our team, we had to help the table so were left with no subs. It wasn’t looking good…

But what a bunch of heroes. Super solid defence in the first quarter left us 2-0 up. We went in at half time 3-2 up, but only thanks to lack of juice in the cannon and their keeper somehow managing to guess where Woody was going to shoot every time. Again, and again, and again. It’s almost as if he always shoots at the same corner…

We ran away with it in the third. The cannon started firing, the keeper didn’t pay attention for one of Robs shots (that was mean, it was a good shot), Shute finally put it in from more than 2 inches (whey) and Holah noticed the keeper doing a Finchy and looped it into the top corner from 9 meters. A 4 goal lead was unassailable, and the Narwhals battled to a 9-7 win.

An almost unanimous MoM this week for Gary in goal, some cracking saves with his hands, arms and head! Hats off to Bummage who made the trip for the second time in a week and put in a cracking performance in the pit, they got 12 majors!! Moment goes to Holah for his lovely 9m goal on the man up. Special mentions for Gary saving with his face, Zach for his telling off by the biggest, fattest man in the pool he was bullying. Fluffer was hotly contested this week. Richards and Loveless get a vote as of the 12 man ups at least 5 were ruined by them. Shute gets a couple of votes for passing straight to the other team blaming his “eyes”. But taking the award today, along with a self nominated vote, is Zach for receiving the ball on 2m during a man up, catching it, pirouetting, then passing it rather than just putting it in the goal. Even the other team couldn’t believe it or you’d have got pummelled. A goal, major or quarter on the table means everyone stays clean this week.

There’s probably a game tomorrow, so see you there!

A blind man, a drunk and 2 minors went for a swim…

A long overdue match report for a game from the start of July vs Beckenham. A valiant effort saw the Narwhals defeated 13-12 with only 4 able sighted, non-drunk, over the age of 15 men. Nick “no eyes” Shute our guest contributor…

July 31st Stats

Getting my kit together for the game, I went into my bed side table and grabbed my box of contact lenses. It was quickly obvious it was empty. For those of you who don’t know, I cannot see a bloody thing without my glasses, so that was me more useless than normal – but still better than Gimli.

Pulling up to East Croydon, Mr Burridge was promptly waiting, however Mr Finch was certainly not. When he did appear, he quickly jumped in the car and proclaimed “I’m completely fucked!”. Good start.

This left a solid 4 men and 2 lads. Vs Beckenhams 12…

We made a pretty poor start, 3-1 down 1st quarter. But a strong second got us back to 5-5 at half time. For one goal, swimming forward I could just about make out our pit man turn his man and push off. I threw the ball in that general direction, and this hero majestically came out the water, caught and swivelled, and sumptuously lobbed the ball over the keeper into the far corner. Apparently, this hero was Holah! Don’t believe it to this day.

We struggled in the third, going down 5-2. The only highlight was a delightful SPS (shute push shot) – still effective from 2 inches (that’s what she said…). A good final quarter, including a 4th for Hero Holah, a brace for Mr Poo and 1 each for Loveless (was this your beautiful backshot from the right wing after a little wobble on the side over the ref?) and myself saw us get to 12 goals. But 4 goals in the second half for their number 8 who was obviously too good and decided to start playing meant we ended up losing out 13 – 12.

Man of the match this week went to Hero Holah for his 4 goals. Shame it’s rarer than a win for Mellows Park Rangers. Moment was shared between Holah and Shute for their goals. Fluffer went to Matt “shout a lot at the defence, oh he just shot and I was too busy shouting” Finch. Not a single major this week, which means the ref was probably shit. But a goal for all but one sees Finch Jr holidaying on his own this week.

Next up a trip to the Northern Lands. Can Holah maintain this form? Will Burridge make the 500 mile round trip? Will Loveless have another wobble? Can Zach get back from holiday alone?? Find out next time.

Wobble imminent… I think I need a sit down…

Monday 26th June saw 8 mighty Narwhals take to the pool for the first time in a month against Croydon 2’s. Seeing the dubious team selection from our opposition, we expected another heavy defeat – which may have played slightly into our favour, providing a relaxed approach to the first few quarters.

June 30th Stats

The first quarter started rather confusingly, with the table being cunningly moved to the other side of the pool, and so the ball was put in on the other side too. This meant that those sneaky left handers who try to avoid the swim off had to actually swim for the ball. Not wanting to break with tradition, we promptly lost that contest… We kept Croydon in reach at all times never letting them get more than one goal ahead. Highlight of the quarter was a swift counter attack where Ed “missing in Portugal” Gamble broke away and played a delightful lobbed “pass” off the far post into the path of Nick “blind man” Shute, who promptly fumbled the ball into the goal.

The second quarter was delightful as we successfully shut the opposition out and managed to grab a goal ourselves, bringing the half-time score to 3-3. We worked hard on the drop and limited the opposition from distance. It was an example of where when we work hard, we can be defensively solid.

We then went into the second half of the game and tiredness eventually caught up with us. As we became slower with our press and our drop broke down, Croydon eventually found their range and grabbed a couple of goals from 7-8m which Finchy was unable to keep out. We didn’t manage to grab a goal in the 3rd quarter and we slipped to 7-3 down.

The 4th quarter saw us make the terrible tactical decision to let Matt “stamina” Finch out of goal. To be clear, there is no correlation between Matt coming out of goal and the team conceding 7 goals. Absolutely no correlation at all. The quarter didn’t start well, with Gary “bad hips” Bowen forgetting he was supposed to save the shots, allowing the ball to fly over his head. That being said, we did then proceed to score 4 goals in the quarter. Shame on whoever let Finchy score… Having spent the game being held, pulled and niggled, Rob “NHS” Loveless started to get a little stroppy. Realising he wasn’t getting anything from the referees, he correctly identified a wobble was imminent and quickly took himself out to cool off. Thirty seconds later he got back in and showed the Croydon boys who was boss with a lovely backhand shot into the bottom corner. He promptly won moment of the match – wobble well and truly avoided!!

Rob also won man of the match for managing to avoid the woodwork and bagging himself 4 goals. Seems all that Kingpin practise worked out. Loveless was in the running for a triple crown, with two fluffer votes for his mini wobble – but he was nudged out by Gary “lobbed from 10m” Bowen who was (as is probably clear) lobbed from 10m in the final second of the game. Shhaaaaammmeee!! Shhaaaaammeee!!

Ed “Lisbon” Gamble and Zac “Porto” Finch are still missing and the police aren’t worried. Gamble claims two excellent assists but no one cares.

Forza Narwhali!!

The night of the Narwhal Massacre

Wednesday 17th May 2017 will forever go down in the chronicles as the worst day in Narwhals history. Yes – worse than ATTJ vomiting in the ladies toilets, worse than Abu bin Harwood coming back from Dubai, definitely worse than not going on tour in 2015 and certainly worse than Gamble dropping 13 pints all over Finchy. It was a massacre of epic proportions. At this moment Green Peace have abandoned protesting oil rigs in the Arctic and are racing towards South Croydon to save all the Narwhals they can…

A crippling and bruising 22-1 loss to Guildford 1’s… not a lot more needs to be said.

May 22nd Stats

For the first time this season our goal difference slips into the negative. Little better, a grand total of 7 narwhals have been found loitering uselessly near Portuguese holiday resorts. As a result of this defeat, the whole team were allocated fluffer. Similarly there was no award for Man of the Match. Reluctantly moment of the match was awarded to Charles “Rob Loveless” King-Tenison for picking up the only goal.

I don’t really want to say anymore as recollecting the game is putting me on the verge of a major wobble… Hopefully we can do a bit better next time…

Another draw snatched from the jaws of victory

A second game of the week, a second draw of the week. A home game to a below strength Sutton team, apart from their 1st team player, who decided to actually start playing at half time and rescued them a point.

15th May Stats

Bolstered by the late cry on of Dan “gladiator” Bedford and Tadija “back to full fitness” Popovic, the Narwhals quickly took a 3-0 lead with a classic top corner goal from Mr Potato Head and some lovely shooting from Woody. A second of the quarter from Woody, one for Gladiator, and a couple for them, meant we ended the 1st 4-2 up. 3 more goals from Woody (2) and Mr Poo (1) saw us in a strong position at half time, 7-4.

They were down, and we started the 3rd with solid defence and a goal apiece for Mr Poo, Gladiator and Goggles to go 10-4 into the lead. But then their 1st team player decided he should probably make some effort… The match sheet then reads Blue 5, goal, Blue 5, goal, Blue 5, goal, Blue 11 (because we dropped so hard on 5), goal. 10-8 at the end of the 3rd.

This continued into the 4th, and as we tired we struggled to get out to the shooters from the drop and blue 11 and blue 12 capitalised with some good shooting. Another goal for Woody and Mr Potato head meant we managed to pull 12-10 ahead, but 11 and 12 pegged us back again to end 12-12.

One thing I forgot to mention in this last quarter is during a blue attack we did manage to drop properly and win the ball. A quick counter saw Gladiator 1 v 1 with the keeper, but with the defender about to pounce he made the correct decision to pass the ball across to Woody. With 5 goals to his name already, his confidence was up, but somehow, with the goal as empty as Gimli’s bank account, he couldn’t apply the finish which would have won us the game. For this he unanimously wins Fluffer, including the self nomination. Hasn’t been a less close vote since Kim Jong-un.

However for his strong start to the game and bagging 5 goals Woody does get man of the match as well. Let’s hope next time he can keep it up further than half way. But what about the water polo? Shout out to Mr Potato Head for a couple of good goals and also Richard who sacrificed his maddy to play in goal. He also wins moment for a cracking penalty save, the first of his 45 year polo career!

In other news, Tony Popovic was spotted in Lisbon on Wednesday, presumably having a nice holiday now the football season is pretty much over. Zach is currently under review by the DMC, and may be joining Tony on his holiday soon.

Lots of Wobbles on Weebledown Farm

Monday saw the mighty Narwhals embark on a trip to Putney to face Avondale. Always a good game, we were optimistic about the result and keen to get going. Phil “Stallion” Richards, “fresh” from his Japanese exertions was back in the pool, and Charles “is this one Surrey League” K-T was finally allowed to play with us again by his mum… Game on!!

Sadly Ed “danger poo” Gamble missed the swim-off due to spending too long visiting the Putney facilities – he had clearly read the B-Log and couldn’t wait for a visit!! Instead the responsibility fell to Goggles McShute who didn’t let the team down by duly losing the swim-off. The first quarter was tight finishing 2-2 and the game was shaping up to be a good one. Our drop was working really well and we nullified their pit attack. Sadly our shooting was wasteful and we did not take the opportunity to build a lead. Nonetheless, a good long range effort from Chris “Moto” Mann and a typical counter from Goggles meant the first quarter went well. The second followed a similar pattern, with the score 4-4 at half time.

Some good consistent refereeing led to lots of majors and plenty of practise. Buoyed by the knowledge he could “score” and hit the target (whey) Phil “Sumo” Richards bagged himself two of four goals in the 3rd quarter. Going into the 4th, we were 7-6 up. The final quarter was a cagey affair, with the lead changing hands. With a minute to go, Avondale bagged a goal to go 10-9 up and the Narwhals were staring defeat in the face. With 30 seconds to go, up stepped Big balls Richards to save the game. In years go by, as he lined up a shot from 7m, we would have turned and swam back to defend, knowing the ball was already flying over the bar… but in an amazing change of fortune, Phil steadied himself, drew back his short little arm and rocketed a shot in off the near post. The game was saved!! 10-10 the final score – our second draw of the year (of the same scoreline).

Man of the Match went to Big Man Richards who grabbed 4 goals and was exceptional in front of goal. He also got moment of the match for his last gasp winner. Shout out to Rob “woody” Loveless who continued his fine run of stopping the ball going in the net by covering for Finch Snr. when he got sent out for smelly chat. Finch also gets a thumbs up for a good reaction save to keep us in the game. Fluffer went to Gary this week for a poorly executed Lob. Finch Jnr. is still visiting the dubious maddy committee.

Stats will come with the next report.

Forza Narwhali!!

The Good, The Bad and Six Narwhals go to Portugal…

Sorry for the delay on the stats, I have been somewhat busy!! This report brings you two weeks worth of “action” and games that really showed the ying and yang of Narwhals Water Polo. Stats are below:

May 4th Stats

Thursday 20th April saw the Narwhals head to Hammersmith to play London Otter. Fuelled by a pre-game Nando’s and a cheeky McFlurry we felt ready for the task – even Bedford being grumpy didn’t stop us!! More importantly we did not lose a team member due to Phil showing off his Big Tasty… but arriving at the pool we felt slightly deflated. The opposition had been warming up for 20mins already and we were facing the prospect of playing in a shallow end with “home” refs. Nonetheless, we prepared ourselves for the task at hand and quite frankly put in the best half of polo we have played in a very long time.

We threatened with the ball, we made attacking swims and we played a drop defence better than we had for a long time. By the end of the half we were 10-3 up, with a particularly fine 7-0 2nd quarter win. Unfortunately that was our Ying… the Yang now came to the fore. The opposition realised they were under the cosh, and decided to full press us. Hampered by a lack of subs and a very attritional and physical opposition, we struggled to defend our lead. Indeed, we failed to score in the whole of the second half. Even so, we did hang on to a 10-10 draw – which for all intents and purposes was a very good result against a very good team. It is just a shame we couldn’t turn our first half form into a win.

Man of the Match was awarded to Dan “weak wrists” Bedford on his return to the side. He scored some ok lobs and put in a reasonable shift – the highlight of which was getting an opposition player excluded for shouting too loudly… Moment was unanimously awarded to the entire team for that wonderful 2nd quarter, whilst Fluffer was awarded to the entire team for the entire 2nd half. The first game in a while Rob managed to avoid that prestigious award…

Wednesday 26th saw a cobbled team come together to play a strong Croydon 2’s side. So desperate for players were we that we forced Tadija “Brave Little Soldier” Popovic (Big Tony) to come out of recovery early and splash around for us. What could have been a great game was severely hampered by the fact that six Narwhals were arrested pre-game and deported to Portugal. That left only Nick “Four Eyes” Shute, Andy “can’t vote, won’t vote” Ogg and Ed “weeble wobble” Gamble to face the Amphibs on their own. It was a struggle and we sadly slipped to an 18-4 defeat. Our hard work undone by a team of young swimmers (cheating surely…).

Voting from this game was marred in controversy as 4 voters has suspiciously similar votes leading to claims of collusion and vote fixing. Sadly for the individuals in question, their cheating has led to the first triple crown of the year, and possibly to the worst person!! Man of the Match went to Ed “Hero” Gamble for grabbing a great goal and providing some excellent assists. Moment was shared between Gary “missing” Bowen (for a superb reaction save), Andy “casual 7.5k” Ogg (for a box to box swim) and Ed “that guy” Gamble for some outrageously great play. Finally Fluffer went to Ed “he started it” Gamble for getting the only major of the match – an exclusion following a minor handbag event with the opposition. The first triple crown for Gimli – a superb result!! In other news, Matt “but it was a lovely turn” Finch came out of goal again and once more failed to get on the match sheet. Recent reports suggest he is in a Portuguese prison cell being bored to tears by Sponge Rob Poo Pants talking about audit…

Until next time – Forza narwhali!!!

Back to Winning Ways

Wednesday 12th saw the Narwhals travel to the spectacular Cheam Baths for a game against Sutton, South London’s secondary Shit Hole. Without their 2 talismans, Ed “has he destroyed the ring yet?” Gamble and Dan “this game was down the road and still didn’t turn up” Bedford, the Narwhals knew they’d be in for a tough challenge to stop a string of 5 losses.

April 18th Stats

Thankfully, some lovely attacking play outweighed some slack defending and frankly dreadful decision making, and they came home with a 12-11 win.

It was a tight start, our drop defence worked well to stop their pit man but they still managed 4 goals. We replied with 4 ourselves, 2 from Nick “can only score inside 2m” Shute, and 1 a piece from Phil “トイレの男” Richards and Andy “thinks he’s too good to vote” Ogg.

The second continued to be tight, they scored 3 and we could only manage 2, another from Ogg and a lovely backshot from Rob “maybe he should always shoot backwards” Loveless. 7-6 at half time. We continued to battle hard into the 3rd, and some more solid defending saw us limit them to a couple. However, we started wasting chances as well, and only a couple of top corner bangers from Richards kept us in the game. 1 behind going into the last.

A quick start from the Narwhals saw “wood lover” Loveless take an extra second to aim his shot inside the post, and “goggles” Shute do what he does best, pick on their guy wearing shorts and 2 breakaway goals in the space of a minute. John “what are you doing?” Holah then held the ball for 29 seconds, before banging it in the top corner to take a 3 goal lead. This almost made up for his stupidity, more on that later though. With 3 minutes and 49 seconds left we did our usual start playing like muppets, however it was only enough time for them to grab 2 goals and that great start to the 4th won us the game.

Voting was unanimous this week. Goggles picks up MoM for his 4 goals, 2 of which were pivotal to the team victory in the final quarter. There were votes for Richards and Loveless as well for their contributions to the game. Loveless goes from fluffer to moment this week purely for not hitting the post. Moment of the match being him drowning, popping up without his man and firing a lovely back shot into the near post. Fluffer this week goes to Holah. With both Chrissy Mann and Floater free on the far side of the pool he decided instead to pass the ball back to their keeper… Special mention to Charles who got a couple of votes (one self inflicted) for smashing the ball into Oggy’s face, and to “Hahahahahaha” who got Holah’s vote.

Forza Narwhali!!

Guest Report by Everyone’s least favourite Australian

April 3rd Stats

Dear Diary

The date is Monday the 3rd of April. I’ve managed to escape the colonies and return to mother England. Penal life was hard. I’d spent the past 2 years in limbo, far away from civilisation in a hut without many things I’d enjoyed in my previous life in England. Things such as:

  • Early shots in extra man
  • Shots hitting the cross bar
  • Shots straight at the goal keeper
  • Over reliance on our keeper
  • Really really smelly chat
  • Warden John’s aptitude to committing major fouls
  • constant discussions of how amazing last tour was
  • constant discussions of how amazing next tour is going to be

Turns out, life hadn’t changed much in mother England.

Being driven to Avondale by Prison Warden Finch, I was briefed on the way one must act in proper society. Tips included:

Don’t set Warden Gamble up with a goal

That was it.

Released from my shackles, it was time to hit the water and do the warm up. True to my generous nature, I graciously stepped aside to allow those from a much more respectable background of my own to start in the water… and Shute.

The first quarter started strongly with everyone pounding up and down the pool, making good passes and co-ordinating well. John “Major in charge of undisciplined action” Holah surprised everyone by recording a goal in the first quarter rather than a major foul. Indeed, he would go on to complete the match without being evicted from the pool much to the delight of his wife who reportedly is getting extremely sick of having the Major King trophy on the mantelpiece next to the wedding photo.

At the first interval it was 2 – 2 in a close encounter. The Narwhals should have been up by more and the break was spent discussing how well we were playing and how inevitably some of these shots will enter the back of the net and not bounce off the woodwork…

Sadly, the second quarter did not materialise as planned, and Avondale scored after 15 seconds after a bit of sloppy defending allowed one of their players to waltz right in to 5m unmarked and put one past Warden Finch. The only positive thing about this is that Everyone’s least favourite Australian was out of the water, so the blame fell on Warden Gamble.

The second quarter passed with Warden Floats the only Narwhal to trouble the scorecard, and we were facing a 5-3 deficit at the main break. Opportunities had been there though, as we again butchered 3 more Extra man scenarios on the back of the early and rash shots. In fact, in the first half the Narwhals had 8 extra man opportunities and only made one of them count.

The 3rd quarter gained even less highlights as 2 more goals were scored against us. The convict managed to score a goal, but it was disallowed as he had been inside 2m. Classic cheating Australians. “Deport him!!” the crowd cried!!

On the flip side Warden Rob “Woodwork” Loveless finally became sick of hitting the post and so decided to commit a personal foul to vent his feelings. It is reported that he hit the post 5 times on the night. It’s becoming standard.

The last quarter came around and finally, FINALLY we managed to put an extra man in the back of the net. It was a beautiful beautiful piece of play with the ball being passed dry around the back, to and fro, before Warden Loveless overcame his love of the post to put one in the netting. Warden “eye for an eye” Shute was seen celebrating despite sitting on the post and having no real impact in the passage of play.

Man of the Match – Finch Snr  (3) for making some good saves and passing the convict the ball beautifully a number of times. Close second was Holah and Birman (2).

Moment of the Match went to Oggy (deserved) and Gamble (dubious) for their nicely worked final goal.

Fluffer – Rob “Wood wood wood” Loveless for his consistency. It was reported later that three Narwhals vowed to nominate Loveless every week until he started hitting the target. The pressure is on!!

Maddy – Birman, Finch Jnr and Gary

Avondale Maddy (2)
Unfortunately, I couldn’t be smug at the pub because we lost.

In summary Diary, the mighty Narwhals is still an awesome place to play polo, and their style hasn’t changed, even if some of us have become OWLs (Older, wiser & larger).

Heartiest congratulations to Warden Gamble on his wedding for Thursday. His final game before the big day was of a performance that we expected from him. Rubbish.